hiraeth

IMG_1821when was the last time that           I
walked with my father’s hand protecting mine as we crossed the street
walked forward knowing where i was headed

there are so many things to        MISS
there are the ways it felt to be carried into my bed
there are the ways it felt to have notes next to my pb&j

what i miss the most is               BEING
so untouched so unscathed so unscratched by the hands of another
so trusting to leave pieces of my mind to bloom in another

but if i close my eyes am i          ABLE
to remember how my mothers touch could cure a stomachache
to remember how weightless i felt on my fathers shoulders

something has been lost               TO
the sprinting hands of time because we all know
the only way to move forward is to leave something behind

but sometimes it’s hard to         BREATHE
we stopped dreaming to make room for responsibility but
we didn’t realize that our dreams keep us alive

i know i can’t say this                 WITHOUT
admitting that i’m holding a compass that never stops spinning
admitting i’m afraid

am i the only one that is             HAVING
this unanswered text this black cup of coffee this spoiled milk
this sleepless night

what is the trick                              TO
breathing in love so that a family can take root in my lungs
breathing in so deep that i can bloom

someone tell me how to               TRY
because no one ever taught me how to let go
because i don’t know how to grow and die at the same time

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